You don’t have to be a therapist to notice when someone isn’t themselves.

You might be a teacher who realizes a student who used to participate has stopped raising their hand.

A hairdresser whose longtime client suddenly talks differently about the future.

A librarian who notices a regular visitor becoming increasingly withdrawn.

A daycare worker who sees a parent who normally chats at pickup becoming overwhelmed and disconnected.

A senior center employee who realizes someone has stopped coming to activities they once enjoyed.

A bus driver who sees the same people every morning—and notices when one of them seems different.

These everyday relationships matter.

During a recent conversation about suicide prevention, River’s Bend Director of Business Development and Suicide Prevention Specialist Leah Bogdanski talked about the importance of helping more people recognize when something may be wrong. Her point was simple: suicide prevention cannot belong only to mental health professionals.

Sometimes the person who notices first is simply the person who happens to be paying attention.

Look for Changes, Not a Checklist

There isn’t one behavior that tells you someone is thinking about suicide.

Instead, pay attention to changes from what is normal for that person, particularly when several changes happen together or follow a difficult life event.

Leah identified several warning signs during our conversation, including withdrawal, changes in personal appearance or hygiene, increased alcohol or drug use, expressions of hopelessness, talking more about death, and giving away possessions that are important to someone.

Here are some changes worth noticing.

They’re pulling away.

Someone who normally talks with coworkers stops joining conversations.

A teenager spends increasingly more time isolated from friends and family.

A regular customer who always chats suddenly doesn’t.

Withdrawal doesn’t automatically mean someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts. But a meaningful change in connection can be a reason to check in.

They seem hopeless.

Pay attention not only to behavior, but also to language.

Someone might say:

“Nothing is ever going to change.”

“Nobody cares about me.”

“My life doesn’t matter.”

Leah specifically identified statements expressing hopelessness or a sense that no one cares as things we shouldn’t simply brush aside.

Something significant has happened in their life.

Loss can take many forms.

A death.

A divorce.

A breakup.

A job loss.

A serious diagnosis.

Financial problems.

Legal trouble.

Retirement.

A major transition.

A traumatic experience.

A life change alone doesn’t tell us someone is suicidal. But when significant stress or loss is accompanied by withdrawal, hopelessness, increased substance use, or other concerning changes, pay attention.

Their alcohol or drug use has changed.

An increase in alcohol or substance use can be another reason for concern, particularly when it appears alongside depression, isolation, grief, anger, or other significant behavioral changes.

You don’t need to determine why someone’s substance use has changed before checking in.

You only need to notice that it has.

They stop caring about things that used to matter.

Maybe they stop participating in activities they once loved.

They disengage from relationships.

Their appearance or hygiene changes significantly.

They stop making plans.

Something that once seemed important to them suddenly doesn’t seem to matter.

Again, the important word is change.

You aren’t diagnosing the person.

You’re noticing them.

They begin giving things away or talking differently about death.

Giving away prized or meaningful possessions is one of the warning signs Leah specifically identified during our conversation. An unusual increase in talking about death can also warrant attention.

Don’t assume comments about death are simply jokes or that someone is “being dramatic.”

Listen to the words.

Consider the context.

Notice what else has changed.

What About a Sudden Sense of Calm?

Sometimes people become especially concerned when someone who has been severely distressed suddenly appears much calmer.

A change like this should be understood in context rather than treated as proof that someone is suicidal. But if you have already been seriously worried about a person, an abrupt change is another reason not to assume everything is fine simply because they appear better.

Check in.

You don’t lose anything by letting someone know you noticed them.

You Don’t Have to Decide Whether Someone Is “Really” Suicidal

This may be the most important part.

Your job is not to diagnose.

Your job isn’t to determine someone’s level of suicide risk.

And your job isn’t to wait until you have enough evidence to prove something is wrong.

Your job is to notice and care.

If you’re concerned, start a conversation.

You can say:

“You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been pretty withdrawn. I wanted to check on you.”

“You’ve said a few things lately that have me worried about you.”

And if what you have seen or heard makes you concerned about suicide, Leah’s advice is even simpler:

Ask the question.

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

As Leah explained in our longer conversation about suicide prevention, direct language matters. You don’t have to know what the answer will be before you ask.

Ordinary People Can Make an Extraordinary Difference

Teachers notice students.

Hairdressers listen to clients.

Librarians know their regulars.

Daycare workers see families during stressful seasons of life.

Senior center staff build relationships with people who may be experiencing grief, isolation, illness, or significant transitions.

Bus drivers see people day after day.

Coworkers know when the person at the desk beside them isn’t acting like themselves.

Neighbors notice when routines change.

None of these people are expected to become mental health professionals.

But all of us can become better at noticing one another.

That’s part of what Leah means when she says suicide prevention belongs in communities—not only inside behavioral healthcare organizations.

If You’re Unsure, Reach Out Anyway

Maybe you’re wrong.

Maybe the person is simply having a difficult week.

Maybe they don’t want to talk.

That’s okay.

Checking in still communicates something valuable:

I noticed you.

You matter to me.

You don’t have to struggle without someone knowing.

And sometimes that small moment of connection can open the door to a much more important conversation.

If you’re unsure, reach out anyway.

If you’re worried, ask.

And if someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, don’t try to manage the situation alone. Help them connect with appropriate crisis or professional support.

Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also contact 988 when you are concerned about someone else and need guidance about what to do next. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or seek emergency medical care.

For a deeper conversation about what to say, what not to say, and what to do if someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, read our companion article:

What I Wish More People Knew About Suicide Prevention: Ask the Question — A Conversation with Leah Bogdanski

Real Talk. Real Support.

Notice the change. Start the conversation. Ask the question.

The post Recognizing Warning Signs: Changes That Shouldn’t Be Ignored appeared first on River's Bend, P.C..

You’ve noticed something has changed.

Maybe someone you care about has become quieter or more withdrawn. They aren’t spending time with people they normally enjoy. They seem overwhelmed, hopeless, angry, or simply not like themselves.

Maybe there isn’t one thing you can point to.

You just have a feeling:

Something isn’t right.

So you think about asking.

Then the doubts begin.

• What if I’m overreacting?
• What if they don’t want to talk?
• What if I embarrass them?

And perhaps the most frightening question:

What if I ask about suicide and make things worse? ¹,²

According to Leah Bogdanski, BS, CPS, River’s Bend Director of Business Development and Suicide Prevention Specialist, that fear should not keep us silent.

Her advice is remarkably simple:

You Don’t Need to Know for Certain Before You Ask

One of the things that makes these conversations difficult is uncertainty.

There usually isn’t a flashing sign telling us that someone needs help. Instead, we notice changes.

During our conversation about suicide prevention, Leah described warning signs such as:

• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Losing interest in personal appearance or hygiene
• Talking or thinking more about death
• Giving away prized possessions
• Expressing rage or significant emotional distress
• Experiencing depression or grief
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Feeling like a burden
• Expressing hopelessness
• Saying things such as “My life doesn’t matter” or “Nobody really cares about me”

Any one of these things does not necessarily mean someone is thinking about suicide.

What Leah encourages people to notice are changes and patterns.

You don’t have to determine what those changes mean before talking about them.

You can simply start with what you have noticed.

Start With What You See

If you are worried about someone but aren’t sure what is happening, Leah recommends asking clarifying questions.

That might sound like:

• “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?”
• “I’ve noticed you haven’t been spending much time with your friends. Is something going on?”
• “You’ve mentioned feeling hopeless a few times lately. Can you tell me more about that?”
• “I know you’ve been going through a lot since your loss. How are you really doing?”
• “You said something earlier that worried me. Can we talk about it?”

There is an important difference between saying “What’s wrong with you?” and saying “I’ve noticed something has changed, and I care about you.”

You aren’t confronting them.

You’re inviting them into a conversation.

And then you need to be willing to listen to the answer.

If You’re Worried About Suicide, Say “Suicide”

This is where many of us hesitate.

We ask:

• “Are you okay?”
• “Are you safe?”
• “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

Those questions may feel safer to us.

But Leah recommends something much more direct:

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

She is intentional about using the word suicide.

As Leah explained, asking whether someone is thinking about “hurting themselves” can mean many different things. Asking about suicide is clear.

She also recommends telling the person why you are asking.

For example:

“You’ve been talking a lot about death lately, and you’ve told me that you feel like nothing is going to get better. Those things have me worried about you, so I want to ask you directly: Are you thinking about suicide?”

Leah described how the directness of that question can surprise someone.

A person who is having suicidal thoughts may not expect anyone to actually ask them about it.

As Leah explained during our interview, sometimes hearing that direct question creates an opportunity for the person to “say the truth out loud.”

That is why the goal isn’t to find a clever way around the word.

The goal is to create an opportunity for honesty.

Don’t Wait for the Perfect Words

Many people delay difficult conversations because they are afraid they won’t know what to say.

But this isn’t a speech.

It is a conversation.

You don’t need a carefully rehearsed opening. You need curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to stay present.

A simple structure can help:

• Notice: “I’ve noticed you seem really different lately.”
• Explain: “Some of the things you’ve said have me concerned.”
• Ask: “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”
• Clarify: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
• Listen: Give them room to answer.
• Connect: If they need help, help bring professional support into the conversation.

What matters isn’t whether every word is perfect.

What matters is that the other person understands:

I noticed. I care. I’m willing to hear the truth.

Before the Conversation, Check Yourself Too

Leah brought up another part of starting these conversations that we don’t talk about enough:

Check yourself first.

Maybe you recognize that someone is struggling, but you aren’t emotionally prepared to manage what they may tell you.

That does not mean you should ignore what you see.

And it does not mean you have failed them.

Leah explained that if you aren’t in the right mindset to have the conversation yourself, you can still say something like:

“I can see that you’re struggling. I may not be the right person to know exactly what to do, but can you sit with me while we call someone who can help?”

That is an important distinction.

Supporting someone does not require pretending to have expertise you don’t have.

You can recognize your own limits and still stay beside the person while you bring in professional help.

As Leah put it during our conversation, you’re still the person helping because you’re the one making that connection for them.

What If They Say They’re Fine—but You Still Don’t Believe Them?

This is another reason Leah’s emphasis on patterns matters.

Someone may tell you:

“I’m fine.”

But you may still see significant changes in their behavior or continue hearing things that concern you.

You don’t have to interrogate them or force them to talk.

But you also don’t have to pretend your concern disappeared.

• Ask another question.
• Explain what you are noticing.
• Stay connected.

And if the warning signs remain serious enough that you are concerned about the person’s safety, Leah’s advice is to involve professional help rather than trying to make the risk determination yourself.

You might say:

“I hear you saying that you’re okay, but I’m still worried because this feels really different from you. I’d rather take that concern seriously. Can we talk with someone together?”

Sometimes caring about someone means being willing to remain concerned even when it would be easier to accept “I’m fine.”

What If They Say Yes?

If you ask:

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

and the answer is yes, the conversation changes.

Leah’s guidance here is just as simple:

“You call for help.”

• Don’t debate them.
• Don’t tell them their feelings are selfish.
• Don’t make them defend why they feel the way they do.
• And don’t promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret.

Instead, acknowledge what they have trusted you enough to share.

Leah offered language such as:

• “That’s a really hard place to be.”
• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “I care about you.”
• “I’m concerned about your safety.”
• “Are you willing to get help?”
• “What can we do together to make sure you stay safe right now?”

You don’t have to decide what level of intervention the person needs on your own.

Bring in people who can help.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be reached by calling or texting 988. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or seek emergency medical care.

And whenever possible, stay connected with the person while help is being arranged. Leah specifically recommends not simply leaving someone alone when you are concerned about their safety.

Starting the Conversation Is an Act of Connection

One theme came up repeatedly during our conversation with Leah: human connection.

She believes it is central to suicide prevention.

When we are actually present with another person, we have an opportunity to notice.

• Their demeanor.
• Their words.
• Their withdrawal.
• Their shaking hands.
• The expression on their face when we ask a difficult question.

Knowing the warning signs helps us recognize those moments. Human connection gives us an opportunity to respond to them.

You will not always know when someone is struggling.

You won’t always say exactly the right thing.

And asking someone about suicide doesn’t mean you are responsible for everything that happens next.

But you can notice.

You can ask.

You can listen.

And you can help connect someone with people who know what to do next.

Continue the Conversation in Our Community

Suicide prevention becomes stronger when more people know how to recognize concerns, start conversations, and connect others with support. 

On September 24, 2026, the Oakland County Suicide Prevention Task Force will host its annual Community Discussion: Digital Innovation in Suicide Prevention at Oakland Community Health Network in Troy. 

From social media outreach and crisis text support to AI, digital storytelling, and online peer connection, this year’s discussion will explore how technology is creating both new opportunities and new challenges in mental health and suicide prevention. 

The free event runs from 9:00 a.m. to noon, with registration beginning at 8:30 a.m., and includes breakfast, resources, and 2 CEUs. 

Parents, grandparents, high school and college students, teachers, police, fire and EMS professionals, public health and medical professionals, behavioral healthcare providers, and faith-based organizations are all encouraged to attend. It is an opportunity for both professionals and community members to learn, connect, and become better prepared to support the people around them.

You Don’t Have to Navigate the Next Step Alone

Families aren’t the only people who face these situations.

Therapists, physicians, school counselors, social workers, discharge planners, and other professionals sometimes recognize that someone needs additional behavioral healthcare but aren’t certain what level of care or resource is appropriate.

River’s Bend works with professional and community partners throughout Michigan to help make those connections.

Leah Bogdanski serves as a point of contact for professionals navigating behavioral healthcare resources, referrals, levels of care, and connections with the appropriate River’s Bend clinical team.

Sometimes a hospital, crisis resource, or another community partner may be what the person needs first.

Leah summed up River’s Bend’s role during our conversation in a way that fits the larger message of this article:

If we can help, we’ll make the connection. If we can’t, we’ll help connect you with resources that can.

Because in that moment, the most important thing isn’t where someone receives help.

It’s that they receive it.

If You’re Worried, Ask the Question

At the end of our conversation, we asked Leah what she would want someone to remember if they remembered only one thing about suicide prevention.

Her answer was immediate:

“Ask the question. If you are worried, ask the question.”
 — Leah Bogdanski, BS, CPS

• Maybe the person says no.
• Maybe they tell you what has actually been happening.
• Maybe your question opens a conversation they desperately needed someone else to begin.

You cannot know until you ask.

You don’t need perfect words.

You need to care enough to start.

Notice the change. Start the conversation. Ask the question.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or seek emergency medical care.

For more guidance about what happens after someone tells you they are struggling, read our companion article, “What Real Support Looks Like After Someone Says ‘I’m Not Okay.’”

And if you are a Michigan professional partner who is unsure where someone belongs within the behavioral healthcare continuum, reach out to Leah Bogdanski at River’s Bend. You don’t have to know the appropriate program or level of care before starting the conversation.

The post How to Start a Conversation When You’re Worried About Someone appeared first on River's Bend, P.C..

“I’m not okay.”

These words might arrive in the middle of a long conversation, or they can come through a text message late at night.

In other cases, the message feels even more frightening:

• “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
• “I don’t think I can do this.”
• Or, after you find the courage to ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?”, the answer is simply: “Yes.”

What happens next matters.

When someone we love tells us they are struggling with suicidal thoughts or experiencing a mental health crisis, our instinct is often to do something immediately—to find the right words, fix the problem, convince them that life will get better, or somehow make the pain disappear.

But real support often begins somewhere much simpler:

• Stay.
• Listen.
• Take them seriously.
• Get help.

You do not have to become someone’s therapist or crisis counselor to make a difference. You have to be willing to stay connected while helping them reach someone who knows what to do next.

First, Pay Attention to How You Show Up

Hearing that someone you love is thinking about suicide can be frightening.

Your mind may immediately race:

• How serious is this?
• What do I say?
• What if I make it worse?
• What am I supposed to do?

You may feel afraid, angry, helpless, confused, or desperate to tell them all the reasons they shouldn’t feel this way.

Those reactions are human. But before responding, try to steady yourself.

Not because your emotions don’t matter. They do. But in this moment, the person in front of you needs to know that you can hear what they are telling you.

Slow down. Listen.

Your job is not to solve everything in the next five minutes. Your first job is to communicate:

• I hear you.
• I’m taking this seriously.
• You don’t have to figure out what comes next by yourself.

During our conversation about suicide prevention, River’s Bend Director of Business Development and Suicide Prevention Specialist Leah Bogdanski made an important distinction: if you don’t feel equipped to manage a crisis conversation yourself, you can still help.

Sitting beside someone while calling a professional together allows you to make that vital connection. Furthermore, staying with them while a trained specialist guides the next steps ensures they don’t feel abandoned.

While knowing every answer isn’t required, simply avoiding leaving the person to figure things out alone makes all the difference.

What Do You Say After Someone Tells You They’re Thinking About Suicide?

This is where fear can make well-intentioned people say things that aren’t particularly helpful.

Try to avoid responses such as:

• “Why would you think that?”
• “But you have so much to live for.”
• “Think about your family.”
• “You don’t really mean that.”
• “Things aren’t that bad.”
• “You just need to stay positive.”

Those responses often come from love. We desperately want the person to see what we see.

But someone who has just trusted us with something deeply painful may hear something very different: You shouldn’t feel this way.

Leah encourages people to acknowledge what the person has shared instead. You might say:

• “That’s a really hard place to be. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
• “I’m glad you told me.”
• “I’m here with you.”
• “You don’t have to handle this alone.”
• “I’m concerned about you. What can we do together to make sure you stay safe right now?”

That response does two important things: it doesn’t argue with the person’s experience, and it makes clear that you are going to help them take the next step.

Listen Before You Try to Fix

When someone tells us they are hurting, our natural instinct is often to make the pain go away.

We often try to offer quick solutions or point out everything they have going for them. Reassuring them that tomorrow will be better comes naturally, as does reminding them how many people love them.

But this may not be the moment for solutions.

It may be the moment to listen.

Good support in that moment can be remarkably simple:

• Give the person your full attention.
• Let them finish what they are trying to say.
• Acknowledge that what they are experiencing sounds painful.
• Resist the urge to immediately correct their thinking or offer solutions.
• Ask what would help them feel safer right now.¹,³
• Let them know you will help connect them with additional support.

Listening does not mean agreeing with someone’s belief that nothing can improve. It means allowing them to tell the truth about what they are experiencing without immediately correcting, judging, or minimizing it.

Sometimes one of the most meaningful things we can give another person is our full attention.

Your Presence Matters More Than You May Realize

When the problem feels enormous, simply being present can feel inadequate.

It isn’t.

Connection is an important part of suicide prevention. Someone who is struggling may already feel isolated, burdensome, hopeless, or disconnected from the people around them. Having another person notice, listen, take their words seriously, and remain with them interrupts that isolation.

Leah returned repeatedly to the importance of human connection during our conversation.

Technology gives us more ways than ever to communicate, but Leah pointed out that being present with another person allows us to notice things a screen may not reveal:

• A change in someone’s demeanor
• Shaking hands
• Withdrawal
• Changes in appearance
• The expression on someone’s face when you ask how they are really doing
• The sense that the person sitting across from you simply isn’t okay

When we know what to look for, we can pay attention differently.

Support doesn’t require a perfect speech. Sometimes it starts with sitting beside someone and making sure they aren’t alone.

If They Ask You Not to Tell Anyone

This can be one of the hardest moments for a friend, parent, sibling, coworker, or other trusted person.

Someone tells you they are thinking about suicide.

Then they say:

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

You may feel caught between protecting their trust and protecting their safety.

Leah is remarkably clear about which one takes priority.

The person may:

• Become angry with you for involving someone else.
• Feel betrayed.
• Tell you that you broke their trust.
• Even tell you they hate you in that moment.

Leah’s response is worth remembering:

“It’s okay that they’re angry in that moment. It’s okay that they hate you in that moment. You’re saving somebody.”

She has also seen what can happen after the crisis passes. The perspective can become: They cared enough about me to get me the help I needed.

Real support doesn’t always mean doing what someone wants us to do in the moment. Sometimes it means caring enough to do what helps keep them safe.

Get Help—You Don’t Have to Become the Expert

If someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, take them seriously and connect them with appropriate help.

Remember what you do not have to do:

• You do not have to conduct your own clinical assessment.
• You do not have to determine their level of suicide risk.
• You do not have to diagnose what is happening.
• You do not have to know which behavioral health program they need.
• You do not have to carry the responsibility alone.

Your role is to help create the connection to someone who can guide the next step.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day by calling or texting 988. You can contact 988 when you are experiencing a crisis yourself or when you are concerned about someone else and need guidance about what to do.

Depending on the situation, additional crisis evaluation or emergency medical care may be necessary. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or seek emergency medical care.

Leah described the role of the person providing support very simply: sometimes you are the person who stays beside someone while you bring in the people who are trained to help.

That is not handing the person off.

That is helping.

Parents: Your Child Needs a Safe Place to Tell the Truth

For parents, discovering that your child is struggling can bring another layer of emotion.

Fear can quickly become interrogation:

• Why didn’t you tell me?
• How long has this been happening?
• What happened?
• Why would you feel this way?

There will be time to understand more.

First, make home a place where the truth can be spoken.

Leah talked about the fear parents sometimes have that discussing suicide—or asking a child directly about suicide—could somehow put the idea into their head.²

Her message is the opposite: talk about it.

For parents, that can mean:

• Notice when something about your child’s behavior or mood has changed.
• Ask directly when you are concerned.
• Listen before trying to explain away what they feel.
• Take statements about suicide seriously.
• Bring in professional help rather than trying to manage the situation within the family alone.
• Continue showing up after the immediate crisis has passed. ³,⁴

Your child does not need you to have a clinical degree.

They need to know that telling you the truth will lead to support.

Keep Showing Up After the Crisis

Real support doesn’t end with the crisis call, emergency evaluation, hospitalization, or first therapy appointment.

There is an afterward.

And support afterward can look surprisingly ordinary:

• Send the text tomorrow.
• Ask how the appointment went.
• Sit with them in the waiting room.
• Offer a ride to treatment.
• Learn about their treatment when they want you involved.
• Invite them to do something ordinary.
• Check in again next week.
• Remember the difficult anniversary they mentioned.
• Don’t assume that because someone appears better, they no longer need connection.

Recovery isn’t always linear, and meaningful support often happens in ordinary moments long after the immediate crisis has passed. ⁴

Leah’s emphasis on human connection is especially important here.

You don’t have to constantly ask someone about their mental health. Sometimes support looks like coffee, a walk, dinner, a phone call, a ride to an appointment, or simply sitting together without needing to fix anything.

Keep being part of their life.

Families Shouldn’t Have to Navigate What Comes Next Alone

After an immediate crisis begins to stabilize, families often encounter another difficult question:

What happens now?

Depending on the person’s needs, the next step could include:

• Inpatient or crisis stabilization services
• A Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP)
• An Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)
• Psychiatric services
• Individual or family therapy
• Substance use treatment
• Recovery programming
• Another specialized community resource

The appropriate level of care can also change throughout recovery.

Trying to understand all of that while your family is already frightened and exhausted can feel overwhelming.

Leah works with individuals, families, healthcare professionals, hospitals, schools, treatment organizations, and community partners to help connect people with appropriate behavioral healthcare resources throughout Michigan.

Sometimes River’s Bend may be the right place for care.

Sometimes a hospital, crisis service, or another community organization is the better first step.

And someone who begins treatment elsewhere may later benefit from River’s Bend as they stabilize and transition to another level of care.

Leah described River’s Bend’s philosophy simply:

If we can help, we’ll make the connection. If we can’t, we’ll help find the resources that can.

The goal isn’t to make every person a River’s Bend client.

The goal is to help people get the care they need.

Real Support Is Not One Person Saving Another

There is a dangerous expectation we can place on ourselves when someone we love is struggling:

It’s my job to save them.

It isn’t.

Real support is not one heroic person carrying someone else through a mental health crisis. It is building a circle around them that might include:

• Family and friends
• Therapists and other clinicians
• Crisis professionals
• Physicians and psychiatric providers
• Schools or other trusted community supports
• Treatment programs
• Community resources
• People who know the person
• People who know the behavioral healthcare system

Your role may simply be to make sure that circle begins to form.

Ask. Listen. Stay. Connect. Follow up.

And remember Leah’s simplest message:

If you’re worried, ask the question.

Then, if the answer tells you someone needs help, don’t leave them alone with the answer.

Help them take the next step.

Help Is Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. In the event of an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or seek emergency medical care.

Those in Michigan who are unsure which behavioral healthcare resource or level of care is appropriate can also reach out to Leah Bogdanski at River’s Bend.

You don’t have to know which program, provider, or level of care is right before you call.

Sometimes River’s Bend will be the answer. Sometimes one of our community partners will be. And sometimes River’s Bend can become part of the journey later, when the person is ready for a different level of care.

What matters first is getting the person you care about connected to help.

Real talk. Compassionate support. People who are willing to stay.

References

1. DeCou, C. R., & Schumann, M. E. (2018). On the Iatrogenic Risk of Assessing Suicidality: A Meta-Analysis. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 48(5), 531–543. DOI / publication

2. Nuij, C., van Ballegooijen, W., de Beurs, D., et al. (2021). Safety planning-type interventions for suicide prevention: meta-analysis. British Journal of Psychiatry, 219(2), 419–426. DOI / publication

3. Stanley, B., Brown, G. K., Brenner, L. A., et al. (2018). Comparison of the Safety Planning Intervention With Follow-up vs Usual Care of Suicidal Patients Treated in the Emergency Department. JAMA Psychiatry, 75(9), 894–900. DOI / publication

4. Skopp, N. A., Smolenski, D. J., Bush, N. E., et al. (2023). Caring contacts for suicide prevention: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychological Services, 20(1), 74–83. DOI / publication

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Every June, Pride Month honors the history, resilience, and contributions of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and other LGBTQ+ individuals. It is a time to celebrate authenticity, raise awareness about ongoing challenges, and reaffirm the importance of acceptance and belonging.

Pride Month began in remembrance of the 1969 Stonewall Riots, a pivotal moment in the movement for LGBTQ+ rights.¹ Today, Pride is both a celebration and a reminder that many LGBTQ+ individuals continue to face stigma, discrimination, and barriers to mental health care.

Why Pride Month Matters for Mental Health

Research consistently shows that LGBTQ+ individuals experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, and suicidal thoughts compared to the general population. According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ young people are significantly more likely to consider suicide, especially when they lack supportive environments.²

These disparities are not caused by sexual orientation or gender identity themselves. Rather, they are linked to experiences such as rejection, bullying, social isolation, and discrimination.³

The good news is that support makes a profound difference.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that acceptance from family, peers, schools, and communities can greatly reduce suicide risk and improve overall well-being.⁴

Why Pride Is Especially Important for Young People

Adolescence and young adulthood are periods of identity development, social comparison, and emotional growth. LGBTQ+ youth may face additional stress when they fear rejection or feel pressured to hide important parts of themselves.

Pride Month sends a powerful message: You belong. You are valued. Your identity deserves respect.

Even small gestures of support can help young people feel safer and less alone.

Small Ways to Show Support This June

Bruce Goldberg, River’s Bend President and co-owner, is a firm believer that healing from mental health and substance use disorders happens in community. Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or not, there are meaningful ways to help lift others up.

• Use a person’s chosen name and pronouns.
• Listen without judgment.
• Display a Pride flag or supportive message.
• Speak up against hurtful comments.
• Learn more about LGBTQ+ experiences.
• Check in with a young person who may be struggling.
• Share mental health resources and affirming support options.

These actions may seem simple, but they communicate acceptance and belonging.

When Community Supports Healing

Whether someone is managing anxiety, depression, trauma, or substance use, feeling connected to others is a powerful protective factor. Recovery is more sustainable when individuals know they are accepted and supported.

Pride Month reminds us that everyone deserves to be seen, respected, and encouraged.

Find Compassionate Support at River’s Bend

River’s Bend provides evidence-based outpatient treatment for mental health and substance use disorders in Troy and West Bloomfield, Michigan, with virtual options available throughout Michigan.

This June, let’s celebrate the strength of the LGBTQ+ community and remember that healing is possible when people feel safe, supported, and connected.

Resources

1. Research guides: LGBTQIA+ Studies: A Resource Guide: 1969: The Stonewall Uprising. (n.d.). https://guides.loc.gov/lgbtq-studies/stonewall-era  ↩︎
2. The Trevor Project. (2026, May 7). The Trevor Project – Suicide Prevention for LGBTQ+ Young people. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/  ↩︎
3. Garcia, J., Vargas, N., Clark, J. L., Álvarez, M. M., Nelons, D. A., & Parker, R. G. (2019). Social isolation and connectedness as determinants of well-being: Global evidence mapping focused on LGBTQ youth. Global Public Health, 15(4), 497–519. https://doi.org/10.1080/17441692.2019.1682028  ↩︎
4. Preventing suicide. (2024, September 10). Suicide Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/prevention/index.html  ↩︎

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In the world of behavioral healthcare, there are professionals who learn through education, and then there are those who carry lived experience into every interaction. At River’s Bend, Amy Buchanan embodies both. As a practice manager, advocate, and speaker, her journey through addiction and recovery has become a powerful force for connection, compassion, and change.

This May, during Mental Health Awareness Month, River’s Bend is proud to spotlight Amy as one of its most inspiring alumni, a leader whose story continues to shape lives both داخل and beyond the clinic walls.

A Story That Became Something More

Amy never set out to become a voice in recovery. Like many, her journey began in a deeply personal struggle, one that became unexpectedly public. But what followed was a choice that would define everything that came next.

Rather than retreat, Amy chose to use her experience as a bridge.

“I had a choice at that time,” she shared. “Was I going to use this platform for good, or was I going to stay upset, mad, and sad?”

That decision transformed her story from something painful into something purposeful.

Just weeks after completing treatment, Amy was asked to speak at a large recovery event. Standing in front of hundreds, her experience still fresh and raw, she delivered a message that resonated deeply. The response—a standing ovation—was more than applause. It was a moment of realization.

Her story didn’t have to end in tragedy. It could become a starting point for someone else.

The Power of Being Understood

Today, Amy’s impact is often felt in quieter, more intimate ways.

Former students, parents, and community members reach out to her, not because she has all the answers, but because they know she understands. That understanding creates something rare in behavioral healthcare: immediate trust.

“They know I won’t judge them,” Amy explained.

In moments when individuals or families are navigating denial, fear, or uncertainty, Amy brings a perspective that blends empathy with honesty. She knows when to gently challenge, when to listen, and when to share just enough of her own experience to help someone feel less alone.

It’s not about telling her story often, but about having it “in her back pocket” when it matters most.

Recovery as a Daily Practice

Working in a behavioral health setting could be overwhelming for someone with a history of substance use disorder. But for Amy, it’s the opposite.

Being immersed in recovery—through conversations, client interactions, and team leadership—keeps her grounded.

“It keeps it on my mind. It keeps me remembering where I have been and where I have come,” she said.

Rather than reopening wounds, her role reinforces growth. It serves as a daily reminder of progress, resilience, and the importance of staying connected to the recovery journey.

At River’s Bend, that perspective enhances not only her work, but the culture around her. Amy helps foster an environment where empathy isn’t just encouraged, it’s lived.

Leading with Lived Experience

As practice manager, Amy plays a critical role in shaping how clients experience care from their very first interaction.

She brings peer support principles into everyday operations, guiding staff to approach each conversation with compassion, patience, and understanding. Whether a client is in crisis, struggling with substance use, or simply unsure where to begin, Amy ensures they are met with dignity.

Her leadership reflects a core belief of River’s Bend: that healing begins with connection.

And often, that connection starts with feeling truly seen.

Advocacy Beyond the Clinic

Amy’s influence extends far beyond River’s Bend.

She remains actively involved in Michigan’s recovery community, maintaining close relationships with advocacy organizations and participating in events that raise awareness and reduce stigma.

On May 14, Amy will take the stage as a featured speaker at the UFAM Rally, where she will share her expungement story—another chapter of her journey that speaks to second chances, justice, and rebuilding a life in recovery.

Her voice in spaces like UFAM is critical. It brings humanity to policy conversations and reminds audiences that recovery is not just possible, it’s happening every day.

A Ripple Effect of Hope

One of the most meaningful parts of Amy’s journey is what happens after the initial conversation.

People come back.

They reach out months, or years later to share that they sought treatment, entered recovery, or even relapsed and found the courage to try again. Amy meets each moment with the same steady support.

“It’s nice to hear their story later… how it helped, and now they’re in recovery,” she said.

These moments are the ripple effect of lived experience. They reflect the quiet, ongoing impact of simply showing up and being willing to share.

Why Amy’s Story Matters at River’s Bend

At River’s Bend, success is not measured only in clinical outcomes, it’s measured in connection, trust, and transformation.

Amy Buchanan represents all three.

Her journey aligns deeply with River’s Bend’s mission to provide evidence-based, compassionate care while treating clients and families as partners in healing.

She is proof that recovery is not a destination—it’s a continuous process that can inspire others along the way.

And for clients walking through the doors, her presence sends a powerful message:

• You are not alone.
• You are not judged.
• And your story, no matter how difficult, can become something meaningful.

Moving Forward Together

As River’s Bend celebrates alumni stories (link to power of alumni stories blog) this May, Amy’s stands as a reminder of what’s possible when courage meets purpose.

Her voice, her leadership, and her unwavering empathy continue to shape not only the organization—but the lives of countless individuals and families.

River’s Bend is deeply grateful to have Amy Buchanan as both a colleague and an inspiration.

Because sometimes, the most powerful form of care comes from someone who has walked the path, and is willing to walk it with others.

If You Have and Alumni Story to Share, We Would Be Honored to Hear It and Pass Your Words Along.

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Honoring a Life Lost and the Call to Support Mental Health

At River’s Bend PC, we are heartbroken by the recent news of the young football player who tragically took his own life at just 24 years old. His story has deeply moved our entire team and serves as a painful reminder that even those who appear strong, successful, and surrounded by support may be carrying invisible pain beneath the surface.

Mental health challenges do not discriminate. Grief, depression, trauma, and hopelessness can affect anyone, regardless of age, achievement, or circumstance. Reports shared that the young athlete had been struggling with his mental health following the loss of his mother, a grief no one should have to face alone. Our hearts go out to his family, friends, teammates, and the entire community mourning his loss.

The Silent Weight of Grief and Depression

For many, grief is not a single event, it’s an uneven journey that can lead to deep emotional pain. The loss of a parent, loved one, or mentor can trigger sadness, guilt, anger, or disconnection. When these emotions go unspoken, they may develop into anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts.

In athletics and other high-performance environments, the pressure to “stay strong” can make it even harder to ask for help. Yet mental pain requires care, not endurance. True strength is found in reaching out, not staying silent.

Breaking the Stigma: Compassionate Mental Health Care in Michigan

At River’s Bend, we believe healing begins when people feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment. Our behavioral health clinicians in Troy and West Bloomfield work with adults, young adults, and families to:

• Build resilience after loss or trauma
• Strengthen emotional regulation and coping tools
• Develop healthier ways to process pain and change
• Restore hope and confidence in the future

We use evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and trauma-informed care to help clients address both the symptoms and root causes of emotional distress.

Our mission has never been more urgent: to ensure that no one feels they must face mental health struggles alone.

Recognizing the Warning Signs of Suicide

Suicide prevention begins with awareness. Anyone can experience suicidal thoughts, regardless of background, age, or success. Recognizing the warning signs can save lives.

Common signs include:

• Talking about wanting to die or feeling hopeless
• Withdrawal from friends, family, or favorite activities
• Increased anxiety, anger, or substance use
• Giving away belongings or saying goodbye
• Extreme mood changes, loss of interest, or emotional numbness

Not everyone shows visible symptoms before a suicide attempt. Pain is often hidden behind achievement, humor, or calmness. Regular, honest check-ins with loved ones can make a life-saving difference.

If someone seems “off,” ask how they’re really doing, and listen without judgment.

If You’re Struggling, You Are Not Alone

If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, grief, trauma, or suicidal thoughts, help is available right now.

Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline free, confidential, and available 24/7.

For those in Michigan, River’s Bend PC offers compassionate, accessible mental health treatment and recovery services, including:

• Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) for mental health and substance use
• Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP) for structured daily care
• Individual and group therapy for adults and adolescents

Our team works collaboratively to build personalized treatment plans that support long-term healing, safety, and stability.

Healing Happens Here

The loss of this young athlete reminds us of a powerful truth: success and strength do not make someone immune to pain. Mental health challenges can affect anyone, but compassion, connection, and professional care can help turn suffering into healing.

At River’s Bend PC, we remain steadfast in our mission to raise awareness, offer hope, and walk beside those who are hurting.

You are not alone. Healing happens here.

📍 River’s Bend PC
Troy Office: (248) 585-3239
West Bloomfield Office: (248) 702-6132
🌐 www.riversbendpc.com

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